Translator: Haruto.

This is a mass release (Ch19-24).

Here’s chapter 19.

“She’s breathing!”

I can’t begin to describe the joy I felt when I heard those words.

My husband and I already knew what name we wanted to give her.

The two of us discussed it and we decided on “Amane.”

We wished for her to have a wonderful future, and we were sure that’d be the case…

Until we saw her hair.

As the midwife held my child in her arms, I caught a glimpse of my baby’s silver hair.

“Why did it have to be her?”

Such a thought crossed my mind countless times.

My husband wrapped his arms around me and we began to cry.

From time to time, children with silver hair are born in our family.

They receive the title of shrine maidens and as they grow, their life energy grows, too.

However…

It is said that within ten years of their becoming official shrine maidens, their parents pass away without exception.

Not just that, those children are destined to experience hardship after hardship throughout their lives.

I don’t care about dying. That’s the life of a purger. I’m prepared for it.

But I don’t want this child to suffer.

And that’s going to be the calamities’ objective, which they’ll try to achieve by all means possible.  

The reason is simple; the seven shrine maidens are extremely pure but it’s also easy for calamities to soil their souls, transforming them into vessels for an evil entity…

Our job as purgers, but above all as parents, is to prevent our beloved child from becoming a vessel for the Divine Ghost Maiden…

And that’s exactly what we swore to do. We strove to raise our daughter in a way that she’d be able to stand on her own one day.

We kept the communication between us to a minimum, believing that it’d diminish her sorrow after we’d be gone…

We were strict with her.

When she fell and tears rolled down her cheeks, we told her to stand up and pull herself together.

Needless to say, our façade crumbled from time to time and we couldn’t prevent ourselves from showing her some affection.

Like when she turned three and she asked for a doll.

She said she wouldn’t ask for anything again, and we bought her one.

The truth is, we wanted to buy her more.  

The truth is, we wanted to give her more.

The truth is, we wanted to dote on her more.

But we had to keep our emotions in check.

Whenever I saw her looking at me anxiously, though, my heart sank.

Sometimes she would even mumble, “I’m sorry,” in her sleep.

And each time, I couldn’t help wrapping my arms around her and hugging her tightly.

“I’m sorry for being such an awful mother… I’m so sorry…”

When a special event like the sports festival or the school play would come around, I’d ask my old friend Shimizu-san to take pictures of her. Then at night, my husband and I would admire them together. It was our one and only joy.

Shimizu-san also mentioned how close her son and Amane had gotten.

I asked her to please take care of her.

Months turned into years, and the day for Amane to become an official shrine maiden arrived.

Once more, I felt the urge to cry, asking myself, “why did it have to be her?!” over and over again.

One day, I caught wind that Shikiryuu-sama would be training Shimizu-san’s son, so I begged Shimizu-san to let Amane stay with them and have the chance to be trained by him.

She gladly accepted.

I couldn’t thank her enough for everything she did for us.

Now Amane would have the knowledge and skills necessary to survive by herself.

All that we had left to do was work as hard as we could so that she would never have to worry about money.

When she entered elementary school, she looked absolutely adorable, but I didn’t offer her any compliments. Whenever she did well on an exam, I just told her to do better next time. I stuck to my role as the strict, awful mother I had to be.

Each time, her face would cloud over and all her excitement would dissipate.

I wanted to hug her, to ask for forgiveness, to say I’m sorry and I love you…

But all I could do was grip my hand firmly and endure it.

Despite knowing how elated, how happy she’d be if I said something, anything…

I had to be strict in the hope that Amane would grow strong and never become a vessel.

I don’t think I ever got the chance to hug her while she was awake.

She was the type of heavy sleeper that doesn’t wake up even if you splash water on them.

I found it endearing, but dangerous as well.

Amane returned home with wounds all over her body.

It seemed she encountered a stronger calamity than expected during her training.

At first, I was amazed at how much she had grown, but then an acute feeling of guilt washed over me.

I wished I could just take her in my arms and worry like any parent should.

But I couldn’t.

The day has come.

A calamity has arrived looking for her.

It’s a rank-one. We have no hope of beating it.  

But that doesn’t mean we’ll go without a fight.

I attempt to stall it by talking to it and shooting flashes of light at it, while at the same time, I send a distress signal… which never makes it anywhere.

The rank-one has put up a barrier around the shrine.

I don’t give up. I try to buy more time by running away, however, my legs are cut off.

Pain takes over my body, but at least I manage to land a hit on the calamity.

My husband throws himself at it.

He’s strong enough to defeat rank-fours by himself.

And yet, the calamity tramples on him with ease.

The calamity uses an area attack.

Even though my legs are missing, I’m able to throw myself over my husband to cover him, and survive.

My husband, on the other hand, isn’t breathing anymore.

He lost too much blood. The things I treasure are one by one being taken away from me.

My beloved husband is dead.

Suddenly, the door is slammed open.

It’s Amane.

No! Get out of here! Please!!!

“Dad… Mom… What…”

“A… Amane… Run.”

“My, you’re still alive!” exclaimed the calamity.

This can’t be happening! It’s going to see her!

“Why, there’s my little shrine maiden! You know how long I’ve been looking for you? Look at all the trash I had to deal with while searching!”

“S-Stop!”

I muster all my strength.

At this rate, the calamity will kill me in front of her eyes.

I can’t let Amane experience that kind of pain.

So I’ll just die in an instant!

I throw a piece of debris at the calamity and make Amane close her eyes using a little bit of dirt while being careful not to hurt her.

There.

She can’t see me now.

This is how it should be.

She doesn’t have to see me die.

The calamity swings its blades at me.

They’re right in front of me.

I’ll die.

But I did it, damn it!

Amane’s eyes are closed.

You couldn’t inflict more pain on her!

Although, there’s one thing I wanted to tell her before I go.

The words I never got to say to her.

I’m sure she won’t hear them, but I’m still going to say them anyway.

“I love you.”

Its blades reach me.

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